Abby Utley – Medium

Abby Utley

Girl Reads off List of Comebacks She Thought of Five Minutes after Being Sent to Her Room

Eight-year-old Julie — who got sent to her room for tossing her Tranformer into the CrockPot — marched to the top of the staircase and…

Feb 20

Feb 20

Kevin Morby and Hamilton Leithauser Stun at the Vic Theater

11.11.2021

Feb 20

Kevin Morby and Hamilton Leithauser Stun at the Vic Theater

Feb 20

The New Wave of ASMR

“Mesmerized , Satisfied, and Sensualized.” This is the motto of cult leader Kurt Scratchensniff’s Hawaiian community. Here at the Lovers’…

Feb 20

Feb 20

How ChicagoBeyond Works with Chicago

Feb 16

Feb 16

The Tote Bag

She types, emphasizing the strength of her fingers rather than the strength of the words. Her eyes drift right at the top edge of her…

Feb 16

Feb 16

$isterhood of the Traveling Minion

Think you misread that headline? Think again. And then think about the dirtiest secret you have. Yeah, that one. The one that would cause…

Feb 16

Feb 16

This Lady’s Hairdo Fights Her Battles For Her! And Wins!

Loyola University Chicago — On Wednesday, January 15th, Soccer Mom Haircut and Son were attending a college tour while bearing the…

Apr 8, 2024

Apr 8, 2024

The Desert is Heartbreaker

With students being able to take classes remotely, the Gull Magazine sent reporter Abby Utley safely out into the field to connect with the…

Apr 8, 2024

Apr 8, 2024

Family Offended that Maid Works for Other Families

In Naples, there are many houses. Not all of them are homes. What makes a house a home? According to my very conservative grandmother, a…

Apr 8, 2024

Apr 8, 2024

Where Are You, Andy Shauf?

A look into Andy Shauf’s discography, featuring a few words from Shauf himself

Apr 8, 2022

Where Are You, Andy Shauf?

Apr 8, 2022

Abby Utley

Abby Utley

Hi there. My name is Abby. This is my personal writing portfolio. Most of the satire on my profile was written during the pandemic. Stay tuned for more. :)

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